I don't want to get old. Not because of the aging process, the baldness, the fatness, or the wheezing; but because apparently we men get LAME when we get old. Case and point, the guys at my gym.
I used to work out every morning before I went to work. Then it was every other morning. Then two mornings a week. Then never at all. I called it a hiatus, I felt like I was plateauing and needed to rest. That, and I couldn't stand the old men at my gym.
Bless their hearts for trying, but I guess they get all of that out before I get there. There's five of them that all hang out, all led one D-bag I call "Mid-life-crisis-man"....MLCM for short. He was probably a respectable man at one time, then he got old and is trying to over compensate.
All five of them stand in a circle...all morning...and that's it. No squat thrusts or curls, just standing. Then they see the girl. I'm not gonna lie, she's pretty good looking for being like 90. (she's about a 4 now, but I bet she was HOT in the 1940's!) But I swear to God it's like they've reverted back to the 8th grade! She comes in, and they all stand around her talking while she works out. She hit's the machines pretty hard, but it doesn't phase them, especially MLCM. Long after his buddies (Hairy, Sweaty, Stinky, and Fatty) all hit the showers (Together? GROSS!) He's still there by the girl, just chatting away.
Granted, I've done about 7 lifts in the time this took, so it's been a while. I just watch them and bite my tongue so as not to laugh out loud. I mean this guy is like a puppy! He will Not Leave!
I find it very funny, but my work out is over and I need to go change. So I walk into the locker room where there they all are....and there's the old one I call Hairy, naked with one foot on the counter using the blow dryer in a way it is not intended. At that point I decided I was out, so I headed home and took a shower there.
Lame
2 comments:
Ewww!! I am glad that at least I don't have to see hairy ballz in the locker room- although I do have to see droopy, saggy boobies. Woe.
I've seen Bill do some pretty weird things but if I EVER saw him use my hair dryer in that way, I would take it and shove it up his ass and electrocute him till sparks flew out his nose. That is worse than using viagra, worse than old age creeping up on you... I thought that there was something worse than some old fart trying to have sex but this takes the cake. I bet the Mcnuggets were longer than the fry. I hope he over toasted one. I bet he was proud.
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